I'm The Shit That Happens

Just being me...and by me i mean a socially awkward, sexually frustrated pansexual with no life.

Goal accomplished (x)

(Source: troyler-gang, via troyesivan)

The Fault In Our Stars by John Green (Page 280)

Hazel:

Touch the cave wall.

Computer:

You touch the cave wall. It is moist.

Isaac:

Lick the cave wall.

Computer:

I do not understand. Repeat?

Hazel:

Hump the moist cave wall.

Computer:

You attempt to jump. You hit your head.

Isaac:

Not jump. HUMP.

Computer:

I don't understand.

Isaac:

Dude, I've been alone in the dark in this cave for weeks and I need some relief. HUMP THE CAVE WALL.

Computer:

You attempt to ju-

Hazel:

Thrust pelvis against the cave wall.

Computer:

I do not-

Isaac:

Make sweet love to the cave.

Computer:

I do not-

Hazel:

FINE. Follow left branch.

Computer:

You follow the left branch. The passage narrows.

Hazel:

Crawl.

Computer:

You crawl for one hundred yards. The passage narrows.

Hazel:

Snake crawl.

Computer:

You snake crawl for thirty yards. A trickle of water runs down your body. You reach a small mound of rocks blocking your passageway.

Hazel:

Can I hump the cave now?

Computer:

You cannot jump without standing.

Isaac:

I dislike living in a world without Augustus Waters.

COmputer:

I don't understand-

Isaac:

Me neither. Pause.

octemberfirst:

abqandnotu:

merosse:

TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATORS: THE CASE OF THE LARGE STRAWBERRY

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

“HAVE YOU TRIED BALANCING ON IT”
“YES OF COURSE I TRIED BALANCING ON IT JENKINS THIS IS NOT MY FIRST DAY AS A TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATOR” 

(Source: animalkingd0m, via boredomkilledthebadger)

londongypsy:

(source) 
surprisebitch:

unshaped:

nintenofficial:

dropdeadesu:

aragaki:

i don’t get this. why does this have so many notes. does it have to do with the type of ice cream? Napoleon ice cream? Napoleon Bonaparte? is that Napoleon Bonaparte’s hand?

nobody explain

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

OH MY GOD

this fucking website

surprisebitch:

unshaped:

nintenofficial:

dropdeadesu:

aragaki:

i don’t get this. why does this have so many notes. does it have to do with the type of ice cream? Napoleon ice cream? Napoleon Bonaparte? is that Napoleon Bonaparte’s hand?

nobody explain

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

OH MY GOD

this fucking website

(Source: gotitforcheap, via hi)

nothimg:

thepenguinsoftexas:

masterjedijuniior:

i need friends like this 

I will be that friend

i just need friends in particular 

nothimg:

thepenguinsoftexas:

masterjedijuniior:

i need friends like this 

I will be that friend

i just need friends in particular 

(Source: star-wars-daily, via sarcastic-snowflake)

h-ound:

I wish I remembered more from this show

(Source: lunar-vee, via hi)

itpiercesskin:

diccups:

its versace

onion bling

itpiercesskin:

diccups:

its versace

onion bling

(Source: ultraballin, via sarcastic-snowflake)

catsbeaversandducks:

Post-it Notes Left on the Train

Writer and illustrator October Jones, the creative genius behind Text From Dog and these funny train commute doodles, is at it again with these hilarious motivational post-it notes that he leaves on the train and in other random places.The upbeat doodles, which star Jones’ adorable character Peppy the Inspirational Cat, convey positive and funny messages meant to motivate daily commuters. Whether you’re feeling the Monday blues or in need of some encouragement, Jones’ delightful post-it notes are sure to brighten your day and remind you just how awesome you are.

Via My Modern Metropolis 

(via boredomkilledthebadger)